Dorothy Parker was born Dorothy Rothschild in West End, New Jersey (1893). She's remembered as one of the greatest wits of the 20th century, even though she only wrote a few books of poetry and short stories. She started her career just after World War I, in an era when slick magazines were one of the most popular forms of entertainment. The writers for these magazines wrote in a jaded, wisecracking tone of voice, and it was Dorothy Parker who proved that women could wisecrack just as well as any man.
Parker was four feet and eleven inches tall, and she loved to swear. The drama critic Alexander Woollcott described her as, "A blend of Little Nell and Lady Macbeth." She said, "[I'm] just a little Jewish girl, trying to be cute."
She was the only woman who belonged to the famous group of New York writers who met every day at the Round Table of the Algonquin Hotel to trade wit and gossip. That circle included Harold Ross, who created the New Yorker, and he said he borrowed the tone of voice for his magazine from those Algonquin meetings. He later hired Parker as a columnist.
Much of her writing was collected in the Portable Dorothy Parker, which has been in print since 1944. Of the first ten Portables published by Viking, only the Portable Shakespeare and the Portable Bible sold as well and as steadily as the Portable Parker.
Dorothy Parker said, "I don't care what is written about me so long as it isn't true."
And, "People are more fun than anybody."
I'm never going to be famous. I don't do anything, not one single thing. I used to bite my nails, but I don't even do that any more.
• I don't care what is written about me so long as it isn't true.
• Wit has truth in it; wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words.
• I know that there are things that never have been funny, and never will be. And I know that ridicule may be a shield, but it is not a weapon.
• You can't teach an old dogma new tricks.
• Women and elephants never forget.
• I might repeat to myself slowly and soothingly, a list of quotations beautiful from minds profound -- if I can remember any of the damn things.
• Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.
• Four be the things I'd have been better without:
Love, curiosity, freckles and doubt.
• A girl's best friend is her mutter.
• I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.
• Take care of luxuries and the necessities will take care of themselves.
• Salary is no object; I want only enough to keep body and soul apart.
• Money cannot buy health, but I'd settle for a diamond-studded wheelchair.
• The two most beautiful words in the English language are 'cheque enclosed.'
• If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.
• The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.
• The best way to keep children home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant -- and let the air out of the tires.
• Now, look, baby, 'Union' is spelled with 5 letters. It is not a four-letter word.
• It serves me right for keeping all my eggs in one bastard.
• All I need is room enough to lay a hat and a few friends.
• Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common.
• Scratch a lover, and find a foe.
• Men don't like nobility in woman. Not any men. I suppose it is because the men like to have the copyrights on nobility -- if there is going to be anything like that in a relationship.
• That woman speaks eighteen languages, and can't say No in any of them.
• People are more fun than anybody.
• I like to have a martini,
Two at the very most.
After three I'm under the table,
after four I'm under my host.
• I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy.
• You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think.
• Ducking for apples -- change one letter and it's the story of my life.
• The Monte Carlo casino refused to admit me until I was properly dressed so I went and found my stockings, and then came back and lost my shirt.
• Brevity is the soul of lingerie.
• This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.
• She runs the gamut of emotions from A to B.
• The only ism Hollywood believes in is plagiarism.
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